Too much

So, I was looking through some of my old photos, and I couldn't help but notice how happy I looked. It's been something I've been noticing a lot lately, that a lot of the time I feel so forced to be happy. I'm not saying I'm not happy, its just some days it seems a lot harder than others.

I miss my family and friends so much more than I ever thought I would, and just being able to see their faces whether through pics, or skype etc. makes me so happy, and makes it a lot easier. I have loved living in Oregon, and the learning experience it has given me, but it is time for me to come back, I need my family and friends in my life, I need my support system.

It's been really hard lately, because everything in my future is so uncertain. I have no idea where I am going to be living, going to school,  i need a job etc. It's just a lot of stress and pressure to worry about, because well I worry about EVERYTHING!! And, on top of it school, and CBEST, and foreign language test, I think I may explode, hahaha. I just have to remind myself to breathe, and take it one day at a time, which isnt easy, as I like to put the horse before the cart, cross my bridges before I come to them, you get the idea.

It wasn't until I skyped with my two closest and dearest friends the past few days that I realized how much I really miss being close to them. Being at least a day away in travel just makes it hard, and I realize how much I depend on them to keep my sane, I have no idea what I would do without my friends and family, they are truly amazing.  I guess, with all the stress and anxiety I just have become homesick! Hopefully, I will hear from school soon, and my path will become a bit clearer. In the meantime, just gotta keep breathing, and keep my head up! I am almost done, and I know I can do this! :)

Sorry-there was not much point to this post!

Grad School

Ok, so its that time, time to apply to Grad Schools. I've completed two of the applications (got waitlisted for one) and I'm trying to complete the third one. This one is so freaking hard to complete! I guess they really want to make sure you REEEEAAAALLLY are cut out to be a teacher. I have never had anybody ask me some of the questions that this application is making me write about. HOW am I supposed to be a teacher when I cant even finish the application??? I don't know how to write about myself, and why I would be a good teacher, or what qualities I have to make me a good teacher. How do you explain to somebody that you have always wanted to be a teacher?? Its so frustrating to know you want to do something, and know you would be good at it but have no clue how to explain that in eloquent, educated essays. I guess thats why they have applications, to really push you and make sure that they are choosing the right candidates. I just need to suck it up and sit down and do it.

On a side note, I went to the Woodburn Outlets today. It was a lot of fun, and I bought some new workout clothes. I am planning on kicking this quarter's butt!! No distractions, no excuses, just hard hard work! Gotta start tomorrow with house cleaning. A clean, organized house is the key to staying organized....or so I've heard! Well....here goes nothing, gotta get my stuff straight! <3

Attempt 1

Ok, so here goes my very first attempt at a blog. It seems super complex for me, but this will be intersting. I'm sort of copying Brittney (sorry!!), but I have decided I need a way to outlet my voice. So, hopefully this will be something I do often. I'll try and show pics of things going on here!

Today I took the train back to Oregon. It was a very loooooong ride! But, it was really pretty! It snowed all through Northern CA and Southern OR. I was able to eat breakfast while traveling through some of the most beautiful snow covered forests I've seen! I also tried French Toast for the first time today, and I actually really liked it!

In SLO, I attempted my first crafty makings. Brittney showed me how to make tags, which are pretty similar to bookmarks, but you can use them for pretty much anything. I became pretty addicted! It's really relaxing, and fun, but I think for now its going to have to take a backseat to school.

 Well, that's about it for now. I'm going to have to figure out how to add pictures to this!